Sexual tension is normal but can be a tricky thing to handle. It can make you feel uneasy, restless, or even frustrated.
You might have strong feelings of attraction but cannot act on them. It could be due to various reasons, such as being in a committed relationship, having a crush on someone unavailable, or experiencing unreciprocated feelings.
These feelings can build up and make you feel stressed. As you might experience, unresolved or prolonged sexual tension can affect your mood, sleep, and even your relationships.
Therefore, for your mental and physical health, it’s important to manage these emotions and find relief from the stress and frustration that sexual tension causes.
There are many ways to relieve sexual tension. Here, I will talk about different methods to help you feel better. Some methods work better for some people than others. So find what works best for you.
Build a Healthy Relationship
Healthy relationships are built on trust and mutual respect, which are important for reducing sexual tension. When partners trust each other, they feel more comfortable expressing their needs and boundaries.
Such open communication helps prevent misunderstandings and ensures that both partners feel valued and respected in their sexual interactions].
Meanwhile, in a healthy relationship, partners communicate openly about their sexual needs and preferences. An honest dialogue helps in addressing any differences in sexual desires and prevents the buildup of unresolved sexual tension.
Moreover, healthy relationships often involve regular physical intimacy, which can improve overall well-being and reduce sexual tension.
The intimacy is not limited to sexual activities but includes other forms of physical closeness, such as cuddling and holding hands, which help maintain a strong emotional connection.
Physical Touch
Physical touch can help reduce sexual tension by creating a sense of closeness and comfort. Simple touches like a light brush of the arm or a gentle hand on the back can make people feel more connected and relaxed. The key is to always be respectful and ensure the touch is welcome.
Starting Small
When you’re just starting a relationship, begin with small and gentle touches. For example, lightly brush their arm or place a gentle hand on their back. As you both become more comfortable and interested in each other, you can gradually increase the level of physical contact.
In dating, these touches can show interest and build attraction without overwhelming the other person.
Friends
Physical intimacy with friends can include holding hands or hugging without necessarily being sexually intimate. It can help manage sexual tension by providing a sense of closeness and connection without crossing boundaries.
Avoiding Triggers
Avoiding triggers can help reduce sexual tension by preventing the initial arousal that leads to heightened sexual desire. When you identify and avoid these triggers, you can better manage your sexual urges and maintain control over your thoughts and actions.
It is particularly important as uncontrolled sexual desires can lead to negative consequences such as infidelity, distraction from important tasks, and emotional distress.
Common triggers to avoid include:
- Visual Stimuli: Avoiding explicit content such as p*rnography or sexually suggestive media can help reduce arousal. Men, in particular, are often visually stimulated, so staying away from such images and videos can be beneficial.
- Being Too Close to Someone: If someone makes you feel sexually excited, try to keep a safe distance from them, especially at work or in social situations.
- Idle Time: Engaging in activities that keep your mind and body busy, such as hobbies, exercise, or work, can prevent sexual thoughts from arising due to boredom or idleness.
- Stress and Emotional Triggers: Stress and strong emotions can sometimes make you feel more sexual. Finding ways to manage stress and deal with your emotions can help reduce these feelings.
Exercise
When you exercise, your body releases endorphins. These are chemicals that make you feel good. Exercise can also help you focus your mind on something other than your sexual feelings.
Types of Exercise
- Cardio: Running, swimming, or biking can get your heart pumping and help release tension. Cardio exercises increase your heart rate, which can improve your mood and energy levels. Try to find an activity you enjoy, so it doesn’t feel like a chore.
- Strength Training: Lifting weights or doing bodyweight exercises can help you feel strong and confident. Strength training can also improve your body image, which can reduce feelings of sexual frustration.
- Yoga: Yoga can help you relax and focus on your breathing as can be very calming. Yoga also improves flexibility and balance, which can make you feel more in tune with your body.
Deep Breathing
When you feel sexual tension building up, take a few deep breaths to calm your mind and body.
How to Practice Deep Breathing
- Find a Quiet Place: Sit or lie down in a comfortable position. Make sure you won’t be disturbed.
- Close Your Eyes: It can help you reduce visual distractions.
- Inhale Slowly: Breathe in through your nose for a count of four. Feel your lungs fill with air.
- Hold Your Breath: Hold your breath for a count of four. The pause can help you feel more in control.
- Exhale Slowly: Breathe out through your mouth for a count of four. Let go of any tension.
- Repeat: Do this several times until you feel more relaxed. Practice this technique daily for the best results.
Talking to Someone
To make you feel less alone and more understood, you can also choose to talk to someone to ease your sexual tension, such as a family member, friend, or therapist.
Tips for Talking
- Choose the Right Person: Pick someone you trust and feel comfortable with. It’s important to talk to someone who will listen without judgment.
- Be Honest: Share your feelings openly and honestly. Don’t be afraid to express your emotions.
- Listen: Be open to their advice and support. Sometimes, just having someone listen can make a big difference.
Hobbies and Interests
Engaging in hobbies and interests can help take your mind off sexual tension. Doing something you enjoy can make you feel happy and relaxed.
Ideas for Hobbies
- Reading: Get lost in a good book. Reading can transport you to another world and help you forget about your worries.
- Art: Try drawing, painting, or crafting. Creative activities can be very therapeutic.
- Music: Listen to your favorite songs or play an instrument. Music can have a powerful effect on your mood.
- Cooking: Experiment with new recipes in the kitchen. Cooking can be a fun and rewarding way to spend your time.
Meditation
Meditation can also help calm your mind and reduce stress. It involves focusing your mind on a single point, like your breath or a mantra.
How to Meditate
- Choose a Good Position: Sit or lie down in a comfortable position. Make sure you won’t be disturbed.
- Close Your Eyes: It can help you focus inward. It also reduces visual distractions.
- Focus on the Moment: Notice how the air feels as it enters and leaves your body.
- Use a Mantra: To help you stay focused, repeat a calming word or phrase in your mind.
- Practice Regularly: Try to meditate for a few minutes each day. Consistency is key to seeing the benefits.
Self-Care
As you can imagine, it’s easier to manage stress and tension if you feel good about yourself.
Self-Care Ideas
- Take a Bath: A warm bath can help you relax. Add some soothing music or essential oils for extra relaxation.
- Get Enough Sleep: Make sure you’re getting enough rest. Lack of sleep can increase stress and tension.
- Eat Well: Eat healthy foods that make you feel good. A balanced diet can improve your mood and energy levels.
- Pamper Yourself: Treat yourself to something special, like a new book or a spa day. Taking time for yourself can make you feel valued and cared for.
Creative Expression
Expressing yourself creatively can also help relieve sexual tension, like writing, drawing, or any other form of art.
Ways to Express Yourself
- Journaling: Write down your thoughts and feelings, especially to track your triggers. Journaling can help you process your emotions and gain insight into your feelings.
- Schedule Breaks: Plan regular breaks throughout your day. Short breaks can help you recharge and stay focused.
- Work: Focus on your job or schoolwork. Keeping yourself busy can help take your mind off sexual tension.
- Learn Something New: Take a class or learn a new skill. Engaging your mind in new activities can be very rewarding.
- Unplug: Take a break from screens and technology. Disconnecting can help you feel more present and relaxed.
Seeking Professional Help
Sometimes, sexual tension can be too much to handle on your own. Seeking help from a professional can be very beneficial.
Types of Professionals
- Therapists: A therapist can help you understand and manage your feelings. They can provide tools and strategies to cope with sexual tension.
- Counselors: A counselor can provide support and advice. They can help you explore your feelings and find solutions.
- Doctors: A doctor can help if there are any medical issues involved. They can also refer you to other professionals if needed.