Dating can be thrilling, but it can also be confusing. Sometimes, it’s hard to tell if a guy is genuinely interested in you (pursue a long relationship) or if he just wants to sleep with you.
Below are 17 sad signs that he might only be after one thing – sex.
If you notice several of these behaviors, it might be time to have an honest conversation with him. Keep in mind that you deserve someone who values you for who you are, not just for what you can offer physically.
Trust your instincts and don’t settle for less than you deserve.
1. He Uses Pet Names Too Soon
Using pet names early on can be a tactic to create false intimacy. He might be trying to manipulate your feelings if he’s calling you pet names before you’ve even had a chance to get to know each other.
Pet names can be sweet and endearing, but they should come naturally and over time. If he’s calling you “baby” or “honey” right away, it might be a way to make you feel closer than you actually are.
For example, if he starts using pet names within the first few dates, it’s a sign that he’s trying to fast-track the relationship for his own benefit.
2. He’s Only Interested in Physical Appearance
A guy who just wants to sleep with you might always compliment your looks but never your personality. A genuine connection involves appreciating who you are, not just what you look like.
So, if he constantly tells you how beautiful or sexy you are but never mentions your intelligence, humor, or kindness, you should be cautious that he might only be interested in your physical appearance.
3. He’s Always Talking About Sex
A healthy relationship includes talking about a wide range of topics besides sex. If a guy is always talking about sex, it could be a clear sign he just wants to sleep with you. It is because his focus on sexual topics might show that he’s more interested in physical intimacy than in getting to know you on a deeper level.
Constantly bringing up sex can also be a way for him to gauge your interest in a sexual relationship. While talking about sex is normal in a relationship, if it’s the main topic of conversation, it might mean he’s not looking for anything serious.
4. He Gets Angry When You Don’t Want to Have Sex
A caring partner will respect your boundaries and won’t pressure you on sex. However, if he sulks, gets angry, or tries to guilt-trip you when you say no, he may be primarily interested in sleeping with you.
His anger might show that he values his own desires over your comfort and feelings. Such reaction indicates that he might be more interested in satisfying his physical needs rather than building a respectful and loving relationship.
A partner who truly cares about you will understand and accept your decisions, even if they don’t align with his own desires.
5. He’s Reluctant to Spend Time Outside the Bedroom
If a guy only wants to spend time with you in the bedroom and avoids doing things together outside, it might be a sad sign that he’s mainly interested in sex. His behavior can make you feel unimportant or used because it suggests he doesn’t value you for who you are beyond physical attraction.
A normal relationship should be built on mutual respect, shared interests, and emotional connection by going out for dinner, watching a movie, or engaging in any activity besides sex.
If he’s not willing to invest time in getting to know you outside of intimate moments, it could mean he’s not serious about a deeper relationship, which can leave you feeling lonely and unfulfilled in the long run.
6. He Disappears After Sex
He’s affectionate before sex but distant afterward, it can be a clear sign that he was primarily interested in the physical aspect of the relationship rather than an emotional connection. A guy who’s only interested in sex will often lose interest once he gets what he wants.
His behavior is often linked to different biological and emotional responses to sex. Women typically release oxytocin during sex, which promotes bonding and emotional attachment, while men release dopamine, which is associated with pleasure and reward.
Additionally, some men might enjoy the chase and lose interest once they’ve “succeeded” in having sex.
7. He Only Contacts You at Night
If he mainly texts or calls you late at night, it’s a red flag. He might be looking for a booty call rather than a meaningful conversation. For example, if you notice that he only sends you messages after 10 PM, asking if you want to “hang out,” it’s likely he’s not interested in a real relationship.
A guy who genuinely likes you will want to talk to you during the day too, sharing moments and experiences that happen throughout the day.
Why Timing Matters
Timing is a factor in understanding someone’s intentions. Daytime conversations are often more meaningful and show that he’s thinking about you throughout the day. If he’s only reaching out when the sun goes down, it’s likely because he’s looking for something more physical and less emotional.
For instance, if he never sends you a “good morning” text or checks in to see how your day is going, it’s an indication that his interest might be purely physical.
8. He Prefers Private Meet-Ups and Avoids Public Dates
When he suggests meeting at his place or yours, rather than going out, it might mean he doesn’t want to be seen with you. Public dates show he’s proud to be with you.
For example, if he always proposes to “Netflix and chill” instead of going out for dinner or a movie, it’s a clear indication that he might be more interested in physical intimacy than in building a real connection.
The Importance of Public Dates
Public dates are a way to show that he values you and wants to integrate you into his life. If he’s avoiding public places, it might be because he’s not looking for a long-term relationship. Public outings also provide opportunities to see how he interacts with others and how he treats you in different settings.
For instance, if he never wants to introduce you to his friends or take you to social events, he might be keeping you a secret.
9. He’s Protective of His Phone
If he’s secretive about his phone, it could mean he’s hiding something. A guy who’s serious about you will be open about his life, including his phone. If he always takes his phone with him, even to the bathroom, or if he gets nervous when you glance at his screen, it might be because he’s chatting with other girls or hiding something from you.
Transparency and Trust Is Important in Any Relationship
Transparency is very important in any relationship. If he’s hiding his phone, he might not be honest with you. Trust is built on openness and honesty, and if he’s not willing to share this part of his life, it’s a warning sign.
10. He Never Talks About the Future
When a guy is serious about you, he’ll talk about future plans, which shows that he’s committed and sees you as a significant part of his life. However, if he avoids these conversations, he might not see you as part of his long-term plans.
As you can imagine, if he changes the subject every time you bring up future vacations, meeting each other’s families, or even plans for the next month, he’s only interested in the present moment.
11. He’s Hot and Cold
If his behavior is inconsistent, it’s also a clear sign. One day he’s all over you, and the next he’s distant. This hot and cold emotional availability often means he’s keeping you around for convenience, not because he cares.
For example, if he’s super affectionate and attentive one week but barely responds to your messages the next, it’s an indication that he’s not fully invested in the relationship.
12. He Doesn’t Make an Effort to Make You Happy
When someone truly cares about you, they will go out of their way to make you feel special and valued. He will plan special dates, surprise you, or do anything to make you feel appreciated.
If he only focuses on physical intimacy and ignores your emotional needs, it shows he might be more interested in satisfying his own desires rather than building a real connection.
13. He Doesn’t Introduce You to Friends or Family
Being introduced to his friends and family means that he’s thinking about a future with you. It shows that he values your relationship and wants to share it with the people who matter to him. If he’s avoiding this step, as you can see he’s not serious about the relationship or not prepared.
14. He Avoids Deep Conversations
Meaningful conversations are the foundation of a strong relationship. They help you connect on a deeper level and build trust. If he’s avoiding these talks, it shows that he’s not interested in developing a real connection with you. For instance, he might only talk about superficial topics like TV shows or sports but never about his thoughts or emotions.
15. He Always Uses Busy As an Excuse
He’ll also be constantly too busy to see you but always finds time for late-night meet-ups.
A guy who truly cares will prioritize you in his life. He’ll make an effort to spend time with you and be there for you.
16. He Doesn’t Care About Your Day
A guy who’s interested in you will want to know about your day, your feelings, your thoughts, and everything about you. But if he never asks, he might not genuinely be interested in you. You can know this if he never inquires about your work, your friends, or your hobbies.
17. He Doesn’t Remember Important Details
If a guy doesn’t remember important details about you, it can also be a sad sign that he just wants to sleep with you. When someone genuinely cares, they pay attention to the little things, like your favorite movie or your birthday.
Always forgetting these details might mean he’s not truly interested in you. If he’s not remembering important things, it shows a lack of effort and commitment.