Spotting the Signs: How to Tell If Your Husband Is Cheating

Marriage is built on trust and love. But sometimes, things can go wrong. If you feel something is off, you might wonder if your husband is cheating. 

Here I provide 13 signs that could mean he is being unfaithful, each along with 3-4 most obvious examples. But, these signals do not always mean he is cheating. They are just clues that something might be wrong unless you find the proof.

Key Takeaways:

  1. Emotional distance, such as a lack of communication and decreased affection, can indicate problems in the relationship.
  2. Unexplained expenses, like charges at restaurants, hotels, or for gifts, might suggest he is spending money on someone else.
  3. Frequent late nights, increased business trips, and being unreachable at work can be suspicious behaviors.
  4. Changes in intimacy, such as decreased interest or new techniques in bed, might indicate he is getting attention elsewhere.
  5. Becoming defensive when asked simple questions or overreacting to inquiries about his day can be a sign he is hiding something.
  6. Excessive phone use, secretive texting, and new apps can suggest he is communicating with someone else.
  7. If he suddenly has new friends you do not know and spends more time with them, it might indicate he is using them as a cover to spend time with someone else.
  8. Small lies about daily activities or whereabouts can add up and indicate a bigger problem in the relationship.

1. He Becomes Secretive

If your husband starts hiding things, it could be a red flag.

Maybe he used to share everything with you, but now he keeps his phone and computer to himself. He might change his passwords or delete messages. This sudden need for privacy can be a sign that he is hiding something.

Examples of Secretive Behavior

  • Phone Privacy: He might start taking his phone everywhere, even to the bathroom. He may also keep it on silent or face down when he is with you.
  • Password Changes: He changes passwords on his devices or accounts and does not share them with you.
  • Private Conversations: He might step out of the room to take calls or lower his voice when talking on the phone.

2. Changes in His Appearance

Husband Is Cheating By Changes in His Appearance

Has your husband started dressing better or working out more? While it is great to see him taking care of himself, a sudden change in appearance can be a sign of cheating.

He might be trying to impress someone else. Pay attention if he starts wearing new clothes or cologne without any special reason.

Examples of Appearance Changes

  • New Wardrobe: He might buy new clothes that are different from his usual style. For example, he never wore designer brands before but suddenly starts.
  • Grooming Habits: He may start grooming more often, such as shaving daily or getting frequent haircuts.
  • Fitness Routine: If he suddenly becomes very interested in working out and spends a lot of time at the gym, it might be to look good for someone else.
  • New Cologne: If he starts wearing a new cologne that you did not pick out together, he might try to impress someone else.

3. He Becomes Distant

Emotional distance can be a big trace of cheating. If your husband used to be loving and attentive but now seems cold and distant, something might be wrong. He might not want to spend time with you or talk about his day.

As you can imagine, this change can be very hurtful.

Examples of Emotional Distance

  • Lack of Communication: He might stop sharing details about his day or his feelings with you. Conversations may become short and superficial.
  • Avoiding Time Together: He could start making excuses to avoid spending time with you, such as working late or going out with friends more often.
  • Decreased Affection: He stops showing physical affection, like hugging or kissing.
  • Less Eye Contact: He might avoid making eye contact with you.

4. Unexplained Expenses

Check your bank statements for any unusual expenses. If your husband is spending money on things you do not know about, it could also be an indication of cheating.

Look for charges at restaurants, hotels, or gift shops. These could be clues that he is spending money on someone else.

Examples of Unexplained Expenses

  • Restaurant Bills: Frequent charges at restaurants you have never been to together could indicate he is dining out with someone else.
  • Hotel Stays: Charges for hotel rooms, especially if he has not mentioned any business trips, can be a major red flag.
  • Gifts: Purchases from jewelry stores, flower shops, or other gift-related expenses that you did not receive could mean he is buying gifts for someone else.
  • Travel Expenses: Unexplained travel expenses, such as plane tickets or gas receipts, could indicate he is going places without telling you.

5. He Works Late Often

Working late can be a normal part of some jobs. But if your husband suddenly starts working late all the time, it might be a sign of cheating. He might use work as an excuse to spend time with someone else. 

Examples of Work-Related Excuses

  • Frequent Late Nights: He starts coming home late regularly and his explanations seem vague or inconsistent.
  • Business Trips: An increase in the number of business trips, especially if they are last-minute or to unusual locations, might be suspicious.
  • Unreachable at Work: If you try to contact him at work and he is often unreachable or takes a long time to respond than before, he might not actually at work.
  • Weekend Work: He starts claiming he needs to work on weekends, especially if this is a new behavior.

6. Changes in Intimacy

Changes in Intimacy

If your husband suddenly loses interest in being intimate with you, it might be because he is getting that attention elsewhere. On the other hand, he might become more interested in sex to cover up his guilt.

Examples of Intimacy Changes

  • Decreased Interest or Avoiding Intimacy: If he shows less interest in sex or avoids physical contact, he might get that attention from someone else. Or he might make excuses to avoid intimacy, such as claiming to be too tired or stressed.
  • Increased Interest: Sometimes, a cheating husband might become more sexually active with you to cover up his guilt or to make sure you do not suspect anything.
  • New Techniques: If he suddenly introduces new techniques or behaviors in bed that he has not shown interest in before, it might be because he learned them from someone else.

7. He Becomes Defensive

When you ask your husband simple questions, does he get defensive? If he reacts strongly to questions about his day or his plans, it could be a sign that he is hiding something. He might accuse you of being paranoid or controlling to deflect attention from his own behavior.

Examples of Defensive Behavior

  • Overreacting to Questions: He gets angry or upset when you ask where he has been or who he was with.
  • Accusations: He might accuse you of being too controlling or paranoid to shift the focus away from his own actions.
  • Avoiding Eye Contact: He avoids eye contact when answering your questions.
  • Changing the Subject: He might try to change the subject quickly when you ask about his day or his plans.

8. He Spends More Time on His Phone

If your husband is always on his phone, he might be texting or calling someone else. 

Examples of Excessive Phone Use

  • Constant Texting: He is always texting and becomes secretive about who he is talking to.
  • Social Media Activity: An increase in social media activity, especially if he is interacting with new people or hiding his friends list.
  • New Apps: He downloads new messaging or dating apps and does not tell you about them, he might communicate with someone else.
  • Phone on Silent: If he keeps his phone on silent or vibrate mode all the time, it might be because he does not want you to hear incoming messages or calls.

9. He Has New Friends

Making new friends is a common occurrence. However, if your husband suddenly has numerous new friends you are unfamiliar with, it might indicate infidelity. He might be spending time with someone new and using these friends as a cover.

Notice if he starts going out more often without you.

Examples of New Friend Behavior

  • Unfamiliar Names: He starts mentioning new friends you have never heard of and does not introduce you to them.
  • Frequent Outings: He goes out more often with these new friends and does not invite you.
  • Secretive About Plans: He is vague about his plans with these new friends or does not want to share details.
  • New Social Circles: He suddenly becomes involved in new social circles or activities that exclude you, it might be a clue he is spending time with someone else.

10. He Lies About Small Things

He Lies About Small Things

If your husband begins lying about small things, it might indicate a bigger problem. He might lie about where he was or who he was with. These small lies can add up and make you feel like you cannot trust him. 

Examples of Small Lies

  • Whereabouts: He lies about where he has been, even for small things like running errands.
  • Who He Was With: He lies about who he was with, such as saying he was with a friend when he was not.
  • Daily Activities: He starts lying about his daily activities, like what he did at work or during his free time.
  • Inconsistent Stories: If his stories about where he has been or what he has been doing do not add up, it could be a sign he is not being truthful.

11. He Acts Guilty

Guilt can show in many ways. If your husband starts acting guilty, for example, he might be extra nice to you or buy you gifts for no reason. He might also avoid eye contact or seem nervous around you. These behaviors can be evidence that he is hiding something.

Examples of Guilty Behavior

  • Unusual Kindness: He starts being unusually kind or doing things for you that he never did before.
  • Gifts: If he buys you gifts for no apparent reason, it might be because he feels guilty about something.
  • Overcompensating: He might go out of his way to do things for you or make grand gestures to cover up his guilt.

12. He Stops Talking About the Future

If your husband used to talk about your future together but now avoids the topic, you should be suspicious. He might not want to make plans because he is unsure about your relationship. 

Examples of Avoiding Future Plans

  • No Future Plans or Lack of Enthusiasm: He stops making plans for the future, like vacations or big purchases. You can also notice he shows a lack of enthusiasm when discussing future plans than before.
  • Avoiding Conversations: If he avoids conversations about your future together, it might be because he is not committed to the relationship anymore.
  • Indecisiveness: He becomes indecisive about long-term plans, like buying a house or having children.

13. You Have a Gut Feeling

Sometimes, you just know something is wrong. If you have a gut feeling that your husband is cheating, trust yourself. Your instincts are often right. Don’t forget to pay attention to how you feel and look for other signs. 

Examples of Gut Feelings

  • Intuition: If you have a strong feeling that something is off, trust your intuition. Your gut feeling is often based on subtle clues you might not consciously notice.
  • Behavior Changes: Catch any changes in his behavior that make you feel uneasy.
  • Emotional Response: If you feel anxious or stressed around him without a clear reason, it could be your body’s way of telling you something is wrong.


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