Dementia affects millions of people around the world, significantly altering their ability to communicate, remember, and interact with loved ones.
Watching someone you care about struggle with dementia can be heart-wrenching, but it is possible to maintain and even strengthen your relationship with them.
Building deeper connections often requires patience, creativity, and a shift in how you interact. This article offers practical strategies to foster closeness and improve the bond with a loved one who has dementia.
Understand Their World
One of the first steps in strengthening your relationship with someone who has dementia is understanding their experience. Dementia often causes confusion, disorientation, and memory loss, which can make even familiar situations feel overwhelming.
Taking the time to learn about the condition can help you empathize and approach interactions with compassion.
Pay attention to their emotions, body language, and tone of voice. Sometimes, they may struggle to find the right words but communicate their feelings in other ways.
By focusing on what they’re expressing rather than how they’re saying it, you can create a safe environment for meaningful connection.
Be Present in the Moment
Living in the moment is essential when engaging with someone who has dementia. Their memory may not allow them to recall past events or think about the future, so focusing on the present can help both of you enjoy the time you spend together.
This might involve sitting quietly, sharing a laugh, or participating in a simple activity they enjoy.
Being present also means limiting distractions. Turn off the television, put away your phone, and give them your undivided attention. Small gestures like maintaining eye contact and smiling can go a long way in making them feel valued and loved.
Practice Active Listening
Active listening is an important skill when communicating with someone who has dementia. Listen with patience and without interruption, even if they repeat themselves or take longer to express their thoughts.
Validate their feelings and let them know they are heard by using affirming phrases like, “I understand” or “That sounds important to you.”
Avoid correcting or challenging their memories, even if what they’re saying is inaccurate. Instead, focus on the emotions behind their words. For example, if they recall an event that didn’t happen, respond to how the memory makes them feel rather than pointing out the error.
Create Meaningful Routines
Establishing routines can provide comfort and stability for someone with dementia. Familiar activities help reduce anxiety and create a sense of normalcy. Plan activities that you can do together, such as taking a walk, listening to music, or preparing a meal.
Incorporate their interests and past hobbies into your time together. If they enjoyed gardening or crafting, find ways to adapt those activities to their current abilities. Shared routines not only provide a sense of purpose but also create opportunities for bonding.
Use Visual and Sensory Cues
Since verbal communication can become challenging for someone with dementia, using visual and sensory cues can enhance your interactions.
Show them pictures of family members, past vacations, or special occasions to spark memories and conversations. Holding their hand, giving a gentle hug, or offering a comforting touch can also convey your love and support when words fail.
Objects that evoke positive emotions, like a favorite blanket or piece of jewelry, can serve as powerful tools for connection. Engage their senses by playing familiar music, baking their favorite treats, or using scents that remind them of cherished moments.
Show Patience and Flexibility
Patience is key when caring for a loved one with dementia. They may have good days and bad days, and their abilities can change from moment to moment. Be prepared to adjust your expectations and go with the flow.
If they become frustrated or agitated, try to stay calm and reassuring. Redirect their attention to something soothing, like a favorite song or a quiet activity. Your steady presence can help de-escalate challenging situations and reinforce your bond.
Focus on Emotional Connections
While dementia can affect memory, emotions often remain intact. Your loved one may not remember specific events, but they will likely recall how you make them feel. Prioritize emotional connections by expressing love, kindness, and understanding.
Engage in activities that evoke positive feelings. Look through old photo albums, reminisce about favorite stories, or watch a movie they’ve always enjoyed. Even if they don’t remember the details, the emotions you share during these moments will linger.
Questions to Ask Someone With Dementia
Asking thoughtful questions can help deepen your connection and encourage your loved one to engage in conversation. Tailor your questions to their current abilities and focus on topics that are familiar or bring them joy. Here are some questions to ask someone with dementia:
- What is your favorite memory from childhood?
- What kind of music do you enjoy listening to?
- Can you tell me about a special place you used to visit?
- What was your favorite meal to cook?
- Who was someone you admired growing up?
- What hobbies did you enjoy?
- Do you remember any funny or happy moments from past holidays?
Avoid asking questions that rely heavily on short-term memory, as this can cause frustration. Instead, focus on open-ended questions that allow them to share stories or emotions. Listen attentively and let the conversation flow naturally.
Involve Them in Decision-Making
Even as dementia progresses, your loved one may still appreciate being involved in decisions about their care and daily life. Including them in simple choices, like picking out clothes or selecting a meal, can help them feel valued and respected. Be patient and offer limited options to avoid overwhelming them.
When making larger decisions, such as planning a move or adjusting their care routine, include them in the discussion to the extent they are able. Showing that you respect their opinions reinforces their sense of autonomy and strengthens your bond.
Seek Support for Yourself
Looking after someone with dementia can be emotionally and physically exhausting. It’s important to prioritize your own well-being to continue offering the love and support your loved one requires.
Reach out to support groups, counselors, or friends who understand your journey.
Taking breaks and practicing self-care doesn’t mean you’re neglecting your loved one. On the contrary, it allows you to recharge and approach your interactions with renewed patience and energy. When you take care of yourself, you’re better equipped to maintain a strong and loving relationship.
Celebrate Small Victories
With dementia, progress may look different than it does in other situations. Celebrate small victories, such as a smile, a laugh, or a moment of clarity. These seemingly minor achievements are significant milestones in maintaining your connection.
Acknowledge and appreciate the effort your loved one puts into engaging with you, even if it’s as simple as answering a question or participating in an activity. These moments remind both of you of the love and bond you share.
Conclusion
Strengthening your relationship with a loved one who has dementia requires patience, empathy, and creativity. By focusing on the present, practicing active listening, and creating meaningful routines, you can foster connection and bring joy to both of your lives. Asking thoughtful questions, involving them in decisions, and celebrating small victories are simple yet powerful ways to deepen your bond.
While dementia may change the way you interact, it doesn’t have to diminish the love and connection you share. With compassion and dedication, you can navigate this journey together and create moments that matter.