When you first start dating someone new, it’s natural to wonder how often you should see each other. You might worry about coming on too strong or not showing enough interest. Finding the right balance can be tricky.
Let’s see some guidelines for how often you should see your boyfriend in the early stages of dating.
Take It Slow at First
In the beginning, it’s best to take things slow and not see each other too frequently. Once or twice a week is a good starting point for the first month or two, which gives both of you space to get to know each other gradually without rushing into things.
For example, you and your boyfriend can plan to meet for dinner every Saturday night.
This weekly date gives you both something to look forward to without overwhelming your schedules. You can build anticipation between dates while still having time for other parts of your lives.
Seeing each other too often right away can lead to burnout or getting sick of each other quickly. You want to maintain some mystery and excitement in the early stages. Absence really can make the heart grow fonder when you’re first dating someone new.
Gradually Increase Time Together
As you get more comfortable with each other, you can start increasing how often you see each other. After a month or two, you might start to see each other twice a week. Then, after 3-4 months, you could see each other 3 times a week.
Imagine that after a month of Saturday dinners, you decide to add Wednesday nights as well. Such a gradual approach allows your relationship to progress naturally without rushing things. You’ll be able to integrate more time together as you grow closer.
It allows your relationship to progress naturally without rushing things. You’ll be able to slowly integrate more time together as you grow closer.
Pay Attention to Your Schedules
How often you see each other will also depend a lot on your individual schedules and commitments. If both of you have busy work lives, you may only be able to get together on weekends at first.
That’s totally fine! Don’t force more time together than your schedules allow, which will only lead to stress and resentment. Be realistic about how much free time you each have to devote to dating.
For instance, if you work long hours and can only do dates on your days off, communicate that with your boyfriend.
If he understands this and is happy to plan around your schedule, it shows he values your time together. Making the most of the time you do have helps strengthen your connection.
Quality Over Quantity
It’s not just about how often you see each other; the quality of time spent together matters, too. A few meaningful dates can be better than constant casual hangouts. Focus on planning fun, engaging activities when you do get together, which could include:
- Trying a new restaurant
- Going on a hike
- Attending a concert
- Taking a cooking class together
- Having a picnic in the park
If you only see each other once a week due to busy schedules, make those dates special. For example, plan an art museum visit followed by dinner at a rooftop restaurant. Quality time helps maintain a strong connection even with limited dates.
Keep in Touch Between Dates
To maintain a connection when you’re not together, keep in touch through calls, texts, or video chats, which helps bridge the gap between dates, especially if you’re only seeing each other once a week.
You don’t need to be in constant communication, but checking in every day or two shows you’re thinking of each other.
Share funny stories from your day or send a quick “hope you’re having a good day” text.
For instance, if you text your boyfriend good morning and goodnight most days, it keeps the connection alive. A midweek phone call can also help catch up between weekend dates and strengthen your bond.
Be Flexible
There’s no perfect formula for how often to see a new boyfriend. Every couple is different, so be willing to adjust based on what works for both of you. If you find that you want to see each other more often, have an open conversation about increasing your time together.
On the other hand, if either of you feels overwhelmed, it’s okay to scale back. The key is finding a rhythm that feels good for both people. Check in with each other regularly to see how the frequency of dates is working and make adjustments as needed.
Watch for Red Flags
While you don’t want to see each other constantly in the beginning, be wary if your boyfriend never wants to get together. If he always seems “too busy” to make plans, this could be a red flag. A guy who is truly interested will make an effort to see you regularly, even if it’s just once a week at first.
If weeks go by with no dates, he may not be as invested in the relationship as you’d like. If you’ve noticed this pattern after several weeks, it might be worth having a conversation about where things stand between you two.
Don’t Compare to Other Couples
It’s easy to look at other new couples and wonder if you should be seeing each other more or less often. Try not to compare your situation with others. Some couples dive in and see each other constantly from the start; others take things much slower.
Neither approach is inherently right or wrong. Focus on what feels good for your specific relationship rather than what others are doing. As long as both of you are happy with how often you’re getting together, that’s what truly matters.
Trust Your Instincts
At the end of the day, there’s no universal rule for how often new couples should see each other. Trust your gut about what feels right for both of you. If you’re excited about seeing more of him, gradually increase your time together.
If you’re feeling smothered or overwhelmed, it’s perfectly okay to slow things down. Pay attention to how you feel after dates. Do you leave feeling energized and looking forward to the next one? Or do you feel drained and need space? Let those feelings guide your decisions.
Have the Talk
After you’ve been dating for a while, have an open conversation about expectations regarding time spent together, which helps ensure that both of you are on the same page.
You might discuss:
- How often you’d ideally like to see each other
- Any scheduling conflicts that need consideration
- Your preferences for communication between dates
- Whether you’re ready to start spending nights together
Having this talk prevents misunderstandings about how much time should be spent together and allows both of you to find a good balance that works for everyone involved.
Enjoy the Journey
Remember that the early stages of dating should be fun and exciting! Don’t stress too much about the exact frequency of dates; focus instead on enjoying getting to know one another at a pace that feels comfortable for both of you. Savor those butterflies and moments of anticipation that come with new relationships.
Make the most of the time spent together because before long, you’ll find yourselves settling into a natural rhythm as a couple. The right amount of time together will happen organically as your connection grows deeper over time—so stay present and enjoy every moment!
Signs You’re Seeing Each Other Enough
How do you know if you’re spending the right amount of time together? Here are some good signs:
- You look forward to dates but don’t feel anxious between them.
- You’re able to maintain friendships and hobbies outside the relationship.
- The relationship is progressing at a pace you’re comfortable with.
- You feel satisfied with how much communication happens.
- Neither person is constantly pushing for more or less time together.
- You’re building a connection while still maintaining some independence.
If these things feel true for both of you, then you’ve likely found a good balance regarding how often you’re seeing one another!
Signs You May Need More Time Together
Sometimes, you might feel that you and your boyfriend aren’t spending enough time together. Here are some signs that indicate you may benefit from increasing the frequency of your dates:
- You Miss Each Other: You find yourself thinking about him often and wishing you could see him more frequently, it’s a clear sign that you might need to arrange more dates. Missing each other can create excitement and anticipation, which is healthy for a budding relationship.
- You Feel Stagnant: Your relationship feels like it’s not progressing, it might be time to increase how often you see each other. Regular dates can help deepen your connection and keep things moving forward.
- You’re Bored: You notice that conversations are becoming repetitive or that you’re running out of new activities to do together, seeing each other more often can help inject some freshness into the relationship. Engaging in new experiences together can rekindle excitement.
- You Want to Know Him Better: If you’re eager to learn more about his interests, hobbies, and life, spending additional time together is essential. The more you see each other, the deeper your understanding of one another will become.
- You’re Not Connecting Emotionally: If you feel distant or disconnected during your time apart, it may be a sign that you need to spend more quality time together. Emotional intimacy often grows with shared experiences.
If these signs resonate with you, consider having an honest conversation with your boyfriend about how often you’d like to see each other. Open communication can help both of you align on what feels right.
Signs You May Need More Space
On the flip side, there are also signs that indicate it might be beneficial to take a step back and create some space in your relationship:
- Feeling Overwhelmed: You’re feeling smothered or like there’s no time for yourself, it’s essential to communicate this. Taking a break can help both of you recharge and maintain a healthy balance.
- Constant Irritation: If little habits or quirks are starting to annoy you more than usual, it might be time for some distance. A little space can help you appreciate each other again and reduce minor conflicts.
- Neglecting Personal Interests: You’ve stopped pursuing hobbies or spending time with friends because you’re focusing too much on the relationship, it’s essential to reclaim that personal time. Maintaining individual interests keeps the relationship dynamic.
- Struggling with Decisions: You’re finding it hard to make decisions without consulting him first, this could indicate a loss of independence. Taking some time apart can help restore your sense of self.
- Lack of Excitement: If spending time together feels more like an obligation than something enjoyable, it’s a sign that you may need some space. Absence can indeed make the heart grow fonder.
If any of these points resonate with you, consider discussing the need for more personal space with your boyfriend. Honesty is key to maintaining a healthy relationship.
The Bottom Line
There’s no one-size-fits-all answer for how often new couples should see each other; it varies based on individual circumstances and preferences. Generally speaking, starting off at once a week before gradually increasing frequency seems effective for many couples.
Focus on creating high-quality experiences during the moments spent together rather than stressing over how many times you meet up.
Maintain your independence while nurturing mutual interests outside of romantic involvement. Open communication is essential to discuss what feels right for both of you will help ensure that neither person feels neglected or overwhelmed.
With some trial and error, you’ll discover what feels “just right” regarding frequency levels in this blossoming partnership.
Trust yourself during this process, and enjoy getting to know each other without feeling pressured!