Childhood is meant to be a bit chaotic, isn’t it, with scraped knees, muddy boots by the back door, and that specific kind of exhaustion that only comes from running around in circles for no apparent reason.
But for some little ones, life has a different rhythm entirely. Instead of swimming lessons and spontaneous sleepovers, their weeks are carved up by hospital appointments, strict medication alarms, and days where they just feel too rubbish to get out of bed. It’s a heavy old load for small shoulders.
Trying to keep life feeling somewhat ‘normal’ when the medical reality is looming over everything can feel like trying to keep a kite flying on a windless day. You want them to just be children, to have those moments where the diagnosis isn’t the headline act, but balancing the need for care with the need for freedom is a proper challenge.
The Extra Layer for Carers
This whole juggling act gets even trickier if you are stepping in as a foster carer with Orange Grove Foster Care. Suddenly, you aren’t just offering a spare room and a warm dinner; you’re inheriting a medical history that might be as long as your arm, often with terminology that sounds like a foreign language. It can be a bit daunting, honestly.
A foster carer ends up wearing a lot of hats, e.g., nurse, advocate, secretary, and cheerleader. You are trying to build a bond with a child who might be wary of adults, while simultaneously having to be the bad guy who insists on medicine or painful physio exercises.
It’s about creating a space where they feel safe enough to shout about how unfair it all is, since, well, it is unfair.
Change the Goalposts
So, how do you keep the spark alive when the diary is full of doctors? Usually, it means redefining what a ‘good day’ looks like. Normal doesn’t have to mean keeping up with the fastest kid in the class.
It might just mean having a movie marathon with a mountain of popcorn on a day when energy is low. It’s about tweaking things so they can join in without getting totally wiped out.
You might try things like:
- Stop-and-start hobbies: Encouraging things that don’t need a strict schedule, like sketching, reading, or building Lego. They can pick it up when they feel up to it and leave it when they don’t.
- Keeping the school loop open: Chatting with teachers to make sure the child isn’t missing out on the social stuff. Maybe a video call to the class or sending in a card? It keeps them part of the gang.
- Celebrating all wins: Did they manage a blood test without tears? Did they finish a chapter book? That deserves a high-five just as much as a football trophy.
Chat It Out
Talking is everything, really. Children are sharp; they pick up on worry faster than we realise. They often try to protect the adults by staying quiet about how they feel. In a fostering setup, where trust is still being built, this is huge.
They need to know they can say “I’m scared” or “I hurt” without worrying that they are being a nuisance. The illness is part of their life, sure, but it shouldn’t be the only thing you talk about over tea.
Don’t Forget the Others
And we can’t forget the other children in the house, can we? It is so easy for the world to revolve around the child who is unwell, which is natural, but it can cause a bit of friction with siblings or other children in care.
Making sure that family time, whether that’s a board game that gets a bit too competitive or just a walk to the park, includes everyone helps remind them that the illness is just one slice of the pie, not the whole meal.
Find Time to Laugh
Keeping things normal isn’t about pretending the sickness isn’t there. It’s about making sure it doesn’t steal all the joy. It’s about adapting, muddling through, and finding reasons to giggle even when things are tough.
Whether you are a birth parent or a dedicated foster carer, the job is the same: to let that child know they are loved for who they are, not how healthy they are, and that there is always time for a bit of play.